DON'T BE SCARED... KILL IT!

I’ve learned over the past 25 years or so that life, because of the fluctuations of the human condition, can harbor the ultimate contradictions within the same physical environments, even on the same day.  It can be monotonous, mundane, slow and seemingly peaceful.  And yes, on that very same day, it can be uneasy, anxious, dangerous and completely unsettling.  Sort of like the prison environment, things can change in an instant.  These hazardous environmental transitions make it even more important to keep your mind focused on your mission, goals and objectives.  The only way to do that is to learn to let it go!

That’s right! Let it go!  No matter what happens.  While in prison I had to learn this on a daily basis.  No matter what happened, i.e. the corrections officer disrespects you in a horrible way, inmates fighting, terrible food with no nutritional value, stress from family, friends and enemies, and of course, the slow agony of being locked up.

Unfortunately, the prison environment is not restricted to the walls of any one correctional facility.  So many of us find ourselves feeling completely trapped by the circumstances of our own lives.  We fight, cuss, cry, argue, and even develop a serious case of self-pity.  “Nobody loves me!”  “Nobody cares!”  “Why won’t ‘they’ leave me alone?”  Sometimes you have to laugh to keep from crying.

The only real solution is to let it go!

The way I’ve learned to let it go is by killing it within my spirit.  Sometimes, this process is very tough.  There are some circumstances that force you to call on every part of your spiritual being to make it through.  Some people are just crazy, mean and completely disrespectful.  Jesus!  There are some folks that tend to dance, hell, break dance on that last nerve that my mother always referred too.  But…I digress!

Excuse me.  It’s not easy.  I’m just saying!

There is no way to negotiate or manage some emotions.  The whole concept of anger management is a crock.  I absolutely don’t believe that you can manage anger.  Don’t play with it.  Negotiate with it.  You must kill it.  The bible says in the book of Colossians, Chapter 3 “So put to death the evil desire lurking in your members…!”  KILL IT!  The bible said it, not me.

It’s really quite simple.  All of us are guided by either faith or fear.  Both are the expectation of an event that hasn’t come to pass or the belief in something that cannot be seen or touched.  Faith comes from the inner man or woman.  Fear comes from the mind.  Which one guides your everyday actions?  Fear drives anger, gossip, envy, rage, bitterness, slander, divisiveness, etc.  All of that emotion kills your faith.

Knowledge, not emotionalism, is the key to winning in the midst of the trials and difficulties of life.  Your mind will play the most important role in your victory or defeat.

You cannot have a positive life, and a negative mind.  Stop being so darn negative.  Quit hatin!

The enemy has come to kill, steal and destroy you.  If you aggressively strike first, you will be fine.  Self-Defense!  

KILL IT!

WHEN I MOVE, YOU MOVE!

I used to believe that you must stay physically active at all times-be ready to speak out stand up, fight back, etc.  My football coach at Florida A&M University, Conway Hayman, told me that “if you make a mistake, make an aggressive one! If you jump offsides before the count, I want you to kick the guys butt on the other side.”  Actually he used more creative words, but you get the point.

I truly believed that inaction was a passive, weak and a cowardly proposition.

One day while reading about the extraordinary passive resistant movements of Gandhi and King, I pondered the thought of whether there is actually real intentional action in inaction.  Is it possible for me to have strong and aggressive action by standing still?

What I discovered is that there is only “right action” to contemplate.  Right action is when you are moved by spirit and love.  I recall several times in my life when I would act or react out of pride, ego or even anger.  Many of those times, my spirit was calling out for me to stand still.  And other times when I didn’t say or do anything, when the unction from inside was to act.

I’ve learned through my own experiences, that sometimes there must be a level of inactivity, in which we pull back from our instinctual human doing.  Then still ourselves for contemplation of a spiritual idea, until it is activated within us.  Move when the spirit moves you.  Sometimes there is a voice within that corrects, reproves and directs your path.  The Bible calls it the “still small voice.”  At other times, the spirit may sound like the rapper Ludacris, “When I move you move…Just like that!”  As you can see, that which dwells within me has different directions at different times.  So my ear has to be in-tune with my understanding.  Discernment!   

Over the past few weeks I have been called upon to answer a plethora of questions; Why are you hated by so many, Why are you loved by so many, Will you seek public office again, Do you have a comment about this case or that case, Why won’t they leave you alone, Will President Obama win another term, and my personal favorite, Why are you so quiet about all of these “things” going on?   

I will never again be fooled into thinking that by choosing not to physically act or react, I am “doing nothing”, being passive, soft, weak or even non-responsive.  I will consistently pursue relentless action.  And I know now that sometimes it takes time to prepare your mind, body and spirit for Right Action.  And more than anything else, it takes the courage to trust the process; even when hellish storms are brewing all around you. 

So go ahead, let them talk, rant, and spew their rage against you.  Heck, “they” will tell their story, their way, with or without your involvement!  All you have to do is shut up and listen.  Not to them, but to Him that dwells within you.

Then, “Move…Just like that!”

Emancipation…Freedom of Your Mind!

I was recently watching a special on National Geographic Television called Miracle Births.  The narrator, Morgan Freeman, said that the most miraculous births are often the most painful.  

WOW!  

In essence, the process of new birth, Genesis, may be a very painful one.  Especially if you are birthing a miracle.  

I watched little babies fight like hell to make it into this world.  They were black and blue when they arrived, but they were alive, breathing and here.  Just minutes after they arrived, they were warm, quiet, peaceful and sleeping in the comfort of their new world.  No longer fearful, troubled or even endangered by the world that they knew only minutes before.  They were Free!  And they fought with everything they had to gain their freedom.

The other inspiring thing about the show, was the Doctor's intention and fight to birth the new baby, with its head coming out of the womb first!

The first light of the new world was on the baby's head.  And once the head was out, the chances of survival and success increased tremendously.  

WOW!

 

Some days within the walls of prison were very tough.  The battle waged within my mind was sometimes overwhelming and taxing.  A writer once said that “the inherent nature of man is ever seeking to express itself in terms of freedom, because freedom is the birthright of every living soul.”

 

I feel very strongly that you must first attract mental freedom.  In order for freedom to be outwardly manifested, one must first be free in his mind and spirit.  The process begins by making a commitment to reconcile yourself to your higher self; the God within.  Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.”

 

During those moments of the battle between my conscious and subconscious mind, I always win.  The truth is that I became free the very moment I turned to the spirit within.  The confines of my prison cell were the physical manifestations of the mental prison of pride, ego, greed, lack, limitation ignorance and selfishness.  I defeated the bondage of the physical prison cell when I defeated the bondages of my physical conditions and confinement.  My consciousness was made free, and I was free indeed.  Yes, negative thought patterns rise up within me at times, but I have become more aware of their cunning strategy and my ultimate victory is becoming more assured.  My desire, will and intention are to win.  I fight with my true self, and we know that the truth will make you free.  

 

Emancipate yourselves from mental slavery, none but ourselves can free our minds…

-Bob Marley

Surrender- The path to Grace

Inherent in the ego is the feeling that we must change something before we will be OK, before we will be accepted in the eyes of others. Part of the process of transformation is going beyond this tendency. We must be free from self-consciousness, free from the desire to please others, to do things so that others will like and accept us. At some point it is essential that we realize that everything is fine as it is. This is sooooo hard for a politician.

But that is why I had to Surrender. I was imprisoned by my ego.

It’s a daily process, and I'm getting through it victoriously.  Through the process of Surrender, all of our false concepts and rigid ideas about things are eventually dissolved.  We may think that we are centered and on top of things, but Grace finds some ingenious means of exposing where we are stuck. It is truly a fascinating process. Eventually, through the power of this process, we become free from all things that have held us down, we go beyond ordinary limitations. It serves to remove all doubt.

There have been many to go before us, many have been transformed by the power of Grace, manifested in there own lives. By Faith, I know the same can happen for me.

As we are transformed, we are no longer identified with a particular personality, we no longer have pride or blame regarding our actions. We become REAL. We begin to express ourselves as who we really are. We become, through the consistent process of transformation, what God wants us to be. We truly begin to spiritually comprehend the great words spoken by the ancestors, "You already have everything, all you lack understanding."  We understand that when we become a puppet of our own ego, when we become a puppet of our own mental conditioning, no matter how famous we are, we can still be defeated by a fool. 

It happened to me. That fool was me. It’s incredibly difficult to defeat an enemy living inside your own mind. I built a house, within a house, and trapped myself in it. And that house was always much too small.

The path of Surrender takes us beyond all of this. It enables us to experience God's Grace. We are able to experience true divinity. We are able to experience, expose and exemplify the greatness inside.

Surrender to the One, who is the author and finisher of our Faith. Let Go and Let God!

Father's Day

These past few years have not been easy for me.  Anyone who's been following my journey has seen the up's and down's, the good days and the bad, my rights and my wrongs.  While I fluctuate, my family is my stability. They have never wavered and I am supremely fortunate for that and to have them.  I am blessed to have children who love and appreciate me and a wife who is my rock, my steadfast and my best friend.  It is on days like today, Father's Day, where I would do anything to have my arms around them and just to be there.  To be with them.

My boys are growing up.  They're learning, playing sports, having fun, growing into men. They're discovering girls. While I'll be with them soon, it can't be soon enough.  Children need their father and I can't wait to be there with them.

I believe in family, and to me that means Father's Day is about not just Dad.  It's about enjoying the moments with my wife as well. My wife Carlita is the strongest spirit I know.  She continues to inspire me and hold our family together in my absence.  I am eager for the day that I get to help her and support her.

May this be the last Father's Day where I am not in arm's reach of my family.

Teaching is Giving Back

I started my new job. I am a GED Tutor\Teacher Asst in the Facility's school.
I work M-F 8:00 til 3:50pm. I have been privately tutoring a lot of fellas since being locked up, but now I'm official. :)

Even here, service is the rent we pay for the space we occupy.


This tutoring job is good. I feel like I'm back at Marcus Garvey. It is rewarding though. I feel good teaching the bruhs. Today, we learned fractions. I got that ole feeling back when the light turns on, and understanding is achieved. It really does make you feel good, to see the confidence grow in a student from cracking the code, on a previously difficult concept.

Praise Team

Today I participated in the praise team at church. We sang 3 songs backed up by the congregation. And then I sang a solo, backed up by the band (drums, keyboard, bass and lead guitars). I sung "Running Back to You" by Commissioned.

The Spirit was so high today. LOL! The Lord has his way in the sanctuary. ALL of the folks said it was one of the best services that they have ever been apart of. The preachers were good also. They were from the International Gospel Center in Ecorse, MI. They thoroughly enjoyed themselves as well. They brought a singer with them, and he tore it up as well.

My solo was really good. It was very well received, and is now the talk of the yard. LOL!
I did trip a lot of dudes out. They really didn't think that I could sing. LOL!